Thursday, March 15, 2012

Searching for Someday

Anywhere but here
photo courtesy of M1DLG

I love making plans.  Oh, I understand that life often, okay always, deviates from the plan, but I like having a framework from which to work.  One thing I didn't schedule into my life was a time to mourn, a time to grieve, a time to just be sad.  Unfortunately, grief is a part of this life here on earth.  It dates all the way back to the garden when Adam and Eve disobeyed, ate the fruit, and then hid--grief that rent the hearts of both man and God; created and Creator. 

Today finds me searching.  I've already found God, or He's found me, more so, but my searching is for a tomorrow that I can not yet see.  My eyes are peeled open gazing into the horizon for a sun that is yet to rise.  I know the day is coming even though its rays are not yet visible, but I know they have been promised and the One who has promised always makes good on His promises.  

Why aren't the good tomorrows here yet?  Why have they not yet arrived?  Why am I still sitting here in sadness......

Maybe my tomorrows won't come because there is something more to learn today.  I spend so much time wanting to "get over it" and yet the mountain of grief can never truly be gotten over.  Grief is more of a continuous path on which you walk.  Some days it will lead you down to the depths and at other times grief's presence remains unknown.  

Are you pining for someday like I am?  My only encouragement, and I am speaking more to me than anyone else, is that someday can't happen until you get through today.  Until you sit in the grief of today, of the moment and experience it to its fullest, one can never move on to someday.  In my search for someday I've found that it's actually today.


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