Tuesday, December 13, 2011

perfectionism

I would have never pegged myself as a perfectionist.

I'm more of a "just get the job done" kind of girl.  When I was in college studying to be and interpreter, the same scene played night after night in the ASL lab; girls would walk in, hauling their overloaded backpacks laden with books, videos, and notes.  After about an hour of writing on paper, studying other videos, and practicing to themselves and possibly another tutor they would take their place in front of the video camera.  Holding their head high they would press "play" and begin to sign, relaying a story, anecdote, or assignment.  After a bit, one would hear a labored sigh from one or more of the carrels as a girl would mess up, misproduce a sign, hands not quite forming the correct shape.  The tape would stop, be rewound, and the taping would begin again.  I watched girls drive themselves to tears in a quest to perfectly sign whatever assignment it was they were working on.  Four hours would pass and out of fifteen attempts, the girls would have one or two that might fit the bill, but they still weren't the stellar performance for which they hoped.

Tapes ejected, backpacks restuffed, and shoulders sunk, they would trek back to the dorms to drown their imperfections in a pint of Ben & Jerry's.

I wasn't one of those girls.

No, I put a limit on myself.  Three tries and then I would take the best of the three.  See, no perfectionist here.
Then I started writing and the inner perfectionist manifested.  If I can't get just the right word to fit into the space, the rhythm and lilt to flow just right I get so frustrated with myself.

Years ago, when I first started blogging, I blogged about anything and everything with no thought to where I could link up, who would read it, or even if anyone would want to read it.  I blogged for one person and one reason.  I wrote for me, myself, and I and because I wanted to.  Other than that, there was no reasoning.

At times I am now paralyzed by the thoughts scurrying across my brain with the label of "to blog about."  The busyness of my brain is getting in the way of the thing I love and what is one to do about it.  Well, personally, I've decided on this little typographical print....I think it could apply to all of us....










What think ye? 

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