Monday, April 16, 2012

woven redemption

photo courtesy of thanker212

We’re sitting on couches. 
They are the perfect kind of couch for sitting and visiting because they sag in just the right places.  Stuffing molds to our bodies, engulfing us, urging us to share the truth of our lives with one another as we sit.  She asks the same question they all ask, “How are you doing,” but I know by the tone of her voice and the look in her eye that she can handle the real answer.  She doesn’t need me to be strong so she doesn’t have to feel the need to help.  She doesn’t need me to gloss over the scary parts or the parts that could leave on jaded.  She already knows that things don’t always pan out like we thought and she also knows that we are more than the circumstance in which we find ourselves.  She knows that while one decision can ripple through our entire life, that the same choice does not have to dictate the rest of our lives. 

So I answer.  
From my heart and some of it’s yucky, but it’s my reality right now.

Every day is a struggle.  But probably not in the way you think. 

I struggle every day with this person called The Adversary.  You see, this guy hates me and I don’t mean can’t stand to be in the same room as me, no, I’d call that a passionate dislike.  This guy wants nothing more than to see me curse God and die.  And he lurks.  He waits in the corner until one of the kids pushes me to the brink of exhaustion and then he starts reminding me that I’m a bad mom.  

It’s lies.  

I know this, but in the solitude of single parenting, it’s easy to think he’s telling the truth.  Especially when his is the only voice you can hear.

It’s in those moments where he reminds me that men without baggage don’t fall in love with women with four kids.  I mean picture it, a handsome guy goes home to mom and dad and says, “Hey, I’ve fallen in love with a wonderful woman, but there’s a catch.  She has four kids.”  Really?  Really?  Yeah, that doesn’t happen in real life. 

There’s the daily struggle of whether or not it’s worth cooking dinner even though it will be met with an onslaught of “I don’t like that” ‘s and “Yuck!”.  
So that’s what The Adversary would have me believe, but he didn’t count on this.

You see, I’m not living real life as far as I’m concerned.  

No, I’m a girl that God wove into this amazing story called redemption.  It’s about Jesus and Him coming to rescue His beloved on a global-all-of-mankind-level, but it’s also this personal story of His redemption of me; His redemption of Kristina.  

It’s so easy to live like redemption happened once on a cross then sideswiped your life when you accepted Christ, but what if we, I, lived like redemption is happening right now because truthfully, it is. 

God is weaving His redemption all through your story and mine.  Whether it be through keeping you from the bad or protecting you in the midst of the trials of life His redemption rings true.

How has redemption shown up in your life lately?


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