Monday, February 27, 2012

Allume from A Single Mom {commit2write}

I check my hair in the mirror one last time before I head out of my room and into the noisy ballroom.  I'm trying to project a cool and confident persona yet inside I'm shaking.  Not only is there a voice whispering that my clothes aren't cute enough or hair hip enough, but it's also telling me that they will criticize me, ostracize me, tell me to leave.  I ride the elevator in silence and paste a smile on my face and pray to God that the fear in my heart doesn't tell on my face.  The ballroom is just a few feet away and I take a deep breath and walk inside....
women.  So many women.  I see a face I recognize, not because I've met them previously, but because I read their blog.  I find a seat at an empty table and introduce myself..."Hi, yes, four kids, Hitherto and's nice to meet you too.  Oh, I've read your blog."  I answer appropriately, yet I steer around the one fact that I know will be my disgrace...I'm a single mom.

Somewhere, somehow I believed the lie that in this group of life-giving, soul-filling women, my truth would be found out and I would be ostracized or at least told that I wasn't good enough.  I would hear the saying "Your blog is only as good as your marriage" and my heart would stab as I thought "Since my marriage is non-existent, what does that mean for my blog?"  I was so scared that it would be a whole two days before I would shyly admit that yes, I was indeed a single mom. and blogger.

Finally, like a millstone lifted from my chest I could breathe again and the same women who the voice said would ridicule and snidely judge instead encouraged me and told me I was doing a good job.  Two even said they admired what I did every day.  Their reaction was 100% unexpected.

When I expected judgement, they poured grace.
Where I was cowering from ridicule, they accepted me.
When I needed encouragement, they offered it willingly.

This is Allume.  Last year, even before their name change, the women of Allume were holding high their torches and illuminating the lives of those around them.  Let me encourage you, if you are thinking about going to Allume, but you're afraid that your story doesn't look "like everyone else's" then I promise you, Allume is the perfect place for you.

None of us are perfect.  We are an amalgamation of Jesus writing His good through our not-so-pretty and publishing it for all the world to see HIS glory.  Yes, my story is messy.  It's got some drama, but it's also got a hero and that hero is the One the world needs most.

So don't hesitate.  Tickets go on sale this Thursday, March 1, 2012 at midnight EST.  Hope to see you at Allume.

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